We're facebook friends in real life
If that was your dad, he is hot
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
