I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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