nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I have tasted many bathrooms
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize