just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize