What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
