Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
just tell him i said nine months
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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