why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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