just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
