"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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