508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize