We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
