Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
