I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
