Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
