and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
