Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize