I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize