It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
