I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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