are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
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IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
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I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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