Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I enjoy the company of your penis
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
