You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
