i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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