I wish my penis had an off switch
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
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I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
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i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
