rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
