no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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