Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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