so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
