U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
