i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
