Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize