your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
