we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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