There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
