covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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