The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
