He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Why are your pants in the freezer?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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