that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
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