I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
