fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Randomize
