Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
stop calling my apartment porn island.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
