somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
