Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Say something about gay babies.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
