Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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