he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
