that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize