I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
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I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
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I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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