chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
