it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
