the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
