craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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