His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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