I wanna bring you to show and tell
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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