So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
i think i just lost a toe
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
