Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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