You're completely useless in the revolution.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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