I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
