we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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