so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
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I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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