So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
